


Red.

by Aryadnehh



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, POV Astrid Hofferson, Red - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27365173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryadnehh/pseuds/Aryadnehh
Summary: "His memory comes in flashbacks and echoesI repeat myself now, to let him goBut separating from him is unviableAnd I still reproduce it, over and over, in my headIn burning red"
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Red.

I've always hated losing.

Whether it was, during the classic Thawfest, a skill race or a simple challenge to those who first came to the entrance columns of the Great Hall, when I was young.

I didn't digest defeat, having to let go of what I had tried to achieve with such ardor, until I was left out of breath.

Do people start to make dragons friends? I will be the first in training.

Do we set up races where we ride them? I'll win them, one by one.

A slim kiddo dares to fight me in a match for the sake of my people? Become a problem.

And yes, he had always been.

He had friendly kidnapped me and shown with another perspective beasts that I believed demons to behave like simple animals, devoid of hatred, malice, revenge.

We were the problem, and it was so absurd to admit that we had shed their blood for over three hundred years.

That too could be called a loss, but I was aware that it wouldn't bring harm.

At least, not anymore.

However, what I was doubtful about was how he wouldn't cause it to me.

Because being the Dragon Master involves being at the top of everything, in first position.

And he was by birthright, but his dedication to what he loved most about himself, led him to stay higher and higher, above me.

In spite of this, his goodness pushed me to become his friend.

You couldn't escape from that light in his eyes, or from the behavior he always carried with him, even with similar thoughts of supremacy,  
even if you always won.

So, I stopped giving it any weight.

So much to accept his niceties, his treat me as an equal.

And that feeling, which went far beyond mere tolerance, taught me how to appreciate someone other than me, so far as wishing that someone would climb the top instead of me.

The moment I realized it, I fell in love.

And loving him was like blaming all my certainties, inducing myself to change direction towards a free fall, going to the heart of what was tearing me apart.

Succeeding in a way so sublime.

His affection, his presence, his warmth suddenly became a priority, a net from which one couldn't wind, not that I really needed it.

It was like learning the melody of that song that is constantly reproduced in my mind, trying to solve a crossword for which there wasn't a really answer, planing in a dead end street and going at a speed so elevated as to think almost a storm,

more and more tumultuous,

more and more full of passion.

Until suddenly ceasing and leaving everything to time, while taking itself to slowly erase us.

His farewell was the worst of the losses, nothing compared to the previous ones.

It was not a match, a tournament

A race? Probably yes, but it was against the future, what awaited me no longer alone.

Because loving him was like giving up the lonely part of your own bed and admitting to having one.

It wasn't suppress for him, giving up his peak.

It was staying together, supporting each other towards a desired and aspired victory.

His absence aroused empty, continuous failings

A dark tunnel with a grayish tinge, the most excruciating solitude.

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met, a complete stranger.

And between distances and collapses, the blind alley found its end, the storm was over and in the meantime we surrendered, now afflicted for the life of us we can't get back.

<< I think we should end it >> he whispered to me that night, in a broken voice.

Despite this, the memory of him becomes present, vivid like the first time.

<< I believe it too >> I replied pained, while I slumped his head on his shoulder.

And it comes in flashbacks and echoes.

<< Hic, I wanted you to know before- >> I tried to say, now sobbing against him.

He slowly touched my spine, until he pushed me into his arms.

I repeat to mytself to let him go, but moving on from him is impossible.

It exploded in a silent cry between my cheek and the fringe.

I heard his almost imperceptible moans of pain and the irregular breathing that tortured my ear.

Then he lowered himself in the direction of it.

And I still see it all, reproducing it incessantly, in my head.

<< I love you, Astrid Hofferson, with everything I have. And I always will >>

Tears.

Bodies desperately tied.

A slow and devastating kiss on the right cheek.

In burning red.

Carefully, he moved his lips away from the skin and stopped stroking my hair.

<< For this, I won't hurt you anymore>> he freed himself from my grasp, gently. << So please, forgive me >>

I vaguely returned to myself and with the last strength, I advanced towards the exit of the house.

I grabbed the latch and when I had to exhale those words, I tightened it until I lost my sensitivity to my knuckles.

<< This is the last time >>

I said destroyed, while my hands stopped holding and opened the door.

<< The last time, Hiccup Haddock, that your name will be on top of my priorities >>

The nerves tightened and closed the door violently, running away.

No rescue action, no response.

Only silence, cold and infinite nights in which I could still clearly perceive his warm laughter, the green eyes watching me while I stretched beside him, the horrible jokes that he reserved for me every night, the condensed air when he held me close and the crackling fireplace as he clung to me all night.

It buzzes incessantly inside me,

'cause loving him was red.


End file.
